I’m fucked up
I don’t deserve to live
I don’t deserve to die
Instead, what I get is to just merely exist. Constantly battling myself.
My scars are no longer visible,
Only because they are covered by open wounds and half dried blood.
I’ve fled my home.
I’ve lost my friends.
I pushed her away.
All I want is peace.
All I want is that final nail in my coffin.
I had the belt around my neck, I thought I did everything right. For some reason, or another; I’m still here.
Why can’t I just die?
Cutting does nothing; no matter how deep. All I feel is pain. It’s now all I know.
I can’t get behind the wheel without eyeing the nearest brick wall or guard rail that I could utilize to end my life.
What the fuck do I do with myself?
No one wants anything to do with me, and it’s literally all my fault.
I push and push and push away.
Now all I want is to pull pull pull the trigger.